Knowing won’t help you.
Thoughts and questions and answers are grinding in the mind constantly. Is it a background noise so constant that I don’t even notice it? When dealing with my own life and when assisting others, I see a pattern. The thinking is in high gear. It must be a curse of our western culture. The notion that the best way of life is to think oneself to death. Our modern world is full of talk, words, methods, advice and discussion. Analyze and dig yourself down deep in the dark mud of the mind to find the solution. That is the go-to method for everything.
Faced with a matter so delicate, mystical, and counter-intuitive as seduction, this does not work. It is as if the feminine is trying to teach the masculine something very spiritual. It is not a straight line. It is not logical. This is emotional and shifting. The night, the moon, the yin brings chaos, emotion and flow to the day, the sun, the yang.
We have all been there. A girl we like is sending us down a lane of head scratching. Why does she not respond? Did I do something wrong on the last date? Why is she going cold on me? She said this and that, so it makes no sense that she is doing this now. Since you really like her, and there is nothing like being into a girl, the mind starts grinding, and you inevitably you try to get into her head. “If she is feeling like this, because of that, and I say this, then…” This never leads to anything good. The masculine is now entering into the feminine world, trying to figure it out.
In a way you are robbing her of the experience of meeting the masculine. Clarity, logic, straight-forward, analytical should clash happily with the night, the mystery, moon and darkness. Maybe this is one of the main lessons of seduction that applies to life in general. To let the mystery into your life. One way of doing that is to tell your incessant blabbering mind that, thank you for the effort, but it is clear you don’t know everything, you will never know everything. All these assumptions are built on the necessity to feel that you know what you are doing. Instead of providing solutions, your analyzing is paralyzing. It drowns the fire of passion with grey facts.
It is hard to admit that you don’t know what you are doing and still go through with it. The cold approach is the perfect example. Canned openers are an attempt to give yourself the feeling that you know, even though you have no clue how this is going to go.
It takes quite a few life experiences to really see for yourself how un-pragmatic overthinking is. Your thoughts are a hurdle disguised as a solution. So it is out of despair or habit that we keep digging; not because it is working.
I truly believe that seduction is more related to art, to dance, to music, to storytelling, to poetry, to the language of dreams than it is to statistics. It is where the masculine is softened by the feminine, in a strange beautiful encounter.
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