To unleash one’s primal nature is a superlative…
… only one in a hundred might have an Incredible Hulk moment, a Jekyll-to-Hyde transformation in plain sight, where the shirt is ripped off, the demons scurry a thousand miles for cover, and every woman in a ten-mile radius flutters, moistens, and faints.
If anyone tells you they’ll unleash your primal nature, including me on our Mastery sales page, bear in mind this is lazy language and advertising drama.
An ecological and sustainable approach to rekindling our primal nature is via a slow-burning process of unfoldment. We don’t rush this with abandon: we dip towards feeling, then embodying, our primal urges and desires, one layer at a time.
Many steps along the journey toward our primal natures are scary. There is an inherent anxiety in coming closer to our authentic selves. Without the safe-haven masks that have covered our raw, animal depths all our lives, how will we show up in public, for instance, as a “primal being”? What is going to happen in our next conversation if the lid that safely suppressed my errant urges is no longer tamping me down? I could get slapped or end up cancelled; prosecuted, thrown in jail.
The anxiety that appears as a man slows down and starts to feel his insides serves a purpose. We fear, if we let ourselves fully into the dark unknown within, that we would quickly be overwhelmed. Our job is to slowly feel our anxiety, embrace it, and become curious to what, exactly, lives on the next layer within us, and beyond.
How would your primal self show up in life? Have you given this serious thought?
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What is our Primal Nature?
As I talk about it here, primal refers to the raw energy of aggression which is related to procreation and survival. The lizard and mammalian aspects of both woman and man, which give thrust to an evolving species.
In our contemporary world, the primal nature of our base, animal impulses is kept under wraps for social and psychological harmony within the tribe. Our trouble comes, as you no doubt intuit, as the primality within us is often kept too far suppressed. We keep many things animal or irrational within. And we feel neither expressed, sovereign, or whole.
I too lived with my id undercover during the first decades of life. I frittered most my sex energy away on my lonesome, while my anger was a boiling, badly-kept secret causing multi-day tense moods and damaging bouts of passive aggression. But the beast within me resonated deeply with the occasional arrogance of a football manager. Or the films of Tarantino, Scorcese. Fantasy, of course, was an outlet.
The movie Whiplash came, for me, as a revelation. I resonated entirely with the conductor’s murderous drive for some transcendent perfection. You saw this in Steve Jobs: an instinct that would kill for his design ideals to become manifest through his team. Can I really bring such ferocious uncompromise to the beauty I create, I wondered? Do I dare admonish my team? The fear of bringing my true standards to others coated my lungs like a plastic bag. I would be fired, discarded, left for destitute — or so I thought — if I willed and fascistically pressed anyone for my higher standard. The sharp end of man’s visionary sword, I thought, was unacceptable to bring to others.
I never had a fight with a woman until I was thirty. But there we were, her rejecting my sloppy attempt at a half-drunk kiss, and we surrendered, mid-street, to a lifetime’s pent-up accusation and abuse. “You’re a dick-tease!” I fired off to her, belligerently, “you’re complicated!” Even my ease-and-delight Amorati conditioning was blown to the summer night’s wind. “I’m not complicated,” she hurled back, in such cinematic abandon I’ll never forget, “I’m complex!”
My unpleasant nature had slipped out despite me, full throttle, and I wanted to throttle this gorgeous South American woman too, just as, when I’d mentally surrendered all hope of having her, she tepidly reached forward to me and murmured, “so, do you still want to kiss me then?”
She had the sweetest lips, God-damn her, and I, the most throbbing dick, I had ever known.
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Channelled Anger & Boundaries
Just a few months ago, my girl and I were looking for a new place to live. On seeing a new place in a nearby village, the renter overstepped his mark, and on top of showing us his property he took the liberty of designing my life for me, telling me how I was going to leave this, work here, rent that. It was the moment the sales rep crossed the line of dignity.
“We’re leaving,” I told him. “So if you don’t like this place I will now take you to another one… where are you renting your bike? I will rent mine and give you 200k off,” he continued, cloying inside of me like a sweaty shirt, not taking my no for an answer. “Look,” I turned to him square-shouldered, front to front, cutting through the air with the outside of my hand in a chopping motion right down the frontside of his body. “You have crossed my limits, I will rent nothing from you, and we end this meeting here.” “But but but but but…” he went on, not listening. I pointed at his face as a rifleman would look at his target, and told him curtly how “we are done.” I hate it when people don’t respect my word.
Driving home I asked my woman if I was too much. Damn, maybe! She exclaimed. Her body vibrating with the energy that had come through. I was a little surprised at how quickly this anger had channeled through me, on this sunny Wednesday afternoon in a friendly country. Yet once the channels open, one can transmit and fill all his actions with energy.
Successful boundaries are not just about words: one has to transmit that there are consequences, with the circulating primal fires of the body.
Some men go primal at retreats in the forest. Scream at each other! Wrestle in the mud and Test your Edge! Tell her how you want to fuck her, all the nasty things you will do to her. Show her your masculine edge!
But after many years of exploring this, I’ve come to see such calls to primal action as gross impositions which ignore the many layers that live between you and your cinematic primal outcry (if that ever exists at all). What is in these layers that stop my primal expression? Most often numbness, fear, and anxiety — as we mentioned — at dropping in, and feeling the unknown. Each of these layers that stop you inhabiting your primal self need to be seen, felt and respected along the way. The fear, the politeness, the avoidance, the changing of conversation, are masks and diversions we put in place for good reason. Don’t skip a step. The evolutionary aggression inside you is there: it is as inside of you as a gecko jumps to eat a fly, as a lion chases down its prey, as a lung takes in oxygen without you even paying attention. And your primal nature will start to flow through you as your overall presence — your sense of safety within yourself — heightens up.
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How to Unfold your Primal Nature:
1] Specific movement practices can help you feel the subtle sensations of your body. As you continue to engage in certain embodiment practices, these subtle sensations you discover will grow, over time, to bigger sensations. Your connection to your body’s intelligence wakes up.
2] As you understand the masks, strategies and deflections you use to keep the raw sides of yourself away, you can pause, take a breath, and stay more open and present. This means you stop your automatic, unconscious patterns, and get closer to your authentic impulses, real-time.
3] Practice being present with your primal impulses. Your masks keep these hidden within, for they are afraid if the primal emotions come out, you will be overwhelmed by them, which will cause consequences. By getting to know the primal sides of yourself slowly, practicing presence all the way, your defences will let go… knowing that they can trust you to stay awake and aware even in the midst of a wild fight or sexual abandon. Being primal isn’t about unconsciously letting go (even if this does happen along the way as in my fight above). It is about becoming present enough to trust yourself to go there.
4] Spend time with others who prize curiosity and wonder more than judgment. When you spend time in a safe practice-space where people want to see more of your messy, uncontrolled nature, new aspects of yourself can come through — in direct relationship to others. As you practice communicating with your rawness without lashing out and losing yourself in the moment, you pave the way for more interactions like this later.
Being primal in real-life is not about deciding to go there with the mind, and then executing some exercise to go all wild. It is not a case of approach ten girls this week and roar like a tiger! Initially, choosing primal requires – as Eliot put it – the awful daring of a moment’s surrender: allowing this dark force in you to channel through. When your mind, your body and your psyche are sufficiently prepared, your carnal nature will start to flow through of its own accord. And you will feel just how much power is locked up inside you.
This is the route to full-blooded alive encounters with others.
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Would you like to do this work?
Our Mastery course is a deep group process that takes you through all these steps, and more. We build a trusting space of curiosity, where we will celebrate your darker aspects together, and support you as you channel these forces with more clarity and awareness.
We hand-crafted this course with the Amorati’s biggest needs in mind. Accessing our nature within is crucial to this.
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After a few rounds of sex without cumming, the veils also wear thin. She knew how to press my buttons, this fierce one, and with a gaze that transcended love and hate I picked her off the chair, slammed her against the wall, and felt Braveheart and all the Scots soldiers come through me as I pole-axed her into battle, and we rode together into oblivion. There was no Jordan left in the room by that point: just the leagues of galloping horses and shrills of war-cry. The valleys were painted with the debris of our collision; the walls of her room had transformed into stars.
Along the path of re-wilding re-connection, we each have our moments of revelation.