On ‘Girl Worship’

There’s a part of us as men, almost universal, which believes that any sense of “girl worship” must be eradicated from our systems when it comes to getting the woman we desire.

We discussed this topic at length during our Mastery call the other night.

“Girl worship” is said to be this: some inner part of us falls in love — or at least feels admiration or deep desire for a woman — and puts her, in some way, on a pedestal. What does a pedestal mean? We place her as more important than ourselves, a figure of the Divine to which all our efforts must aspire, the person who, on attainment, will grant us the greatest happiness in the world. She becomes the hallowed and holy land!

Anyone reading this with any scrap of discernment or experience in the dynamics of attraction will know just how many problematic things were mentioned in the last paragraph. ‘We cannot put a woman on a pedestal,’ all the advice out there goes. ‘We need to level the playing field, break out of our delusions, and beat the divinisation of women out of our systems!’

As men mature on their journey of love and relationships, this is what they fight to do. They cut that energy of “girl worship” out from themselves, destroy the pedestal, mature, develop and find their power.

But with it, such men throw the baby out with the bathwater, cutting away their greatest seductive asset in the process.

How many men have I met who have stepped into some kind of ‘manly power’, and have stopped allowing themselves to feel ‘worship’ for the women their hearts truly love? How many of these men now trawl the world looking for a partner who is complete enough for them, amazing enough for them, without ever having any sustained success?!

There is an innocent part of our heart that feels an almost uncontrollable wave of love and admiration for just a handful of women we’ll meet in our lives. This natural, blissful admiration starts (for so many of us) when we’re young, usually during our first years of school. And this place of our heart, the source of our ‘natural worship’ for a particular kind of beauty in women, is one of the most precious gifts we should seek to keep — at all costs!

Without the part of us that’s inclined to worship our woman, how do you ever expect to build a relationship that’s got the energy to go any distance?

Without the part of us that aches to bow down at the perfection of our woman (carnal or ethereal!), how do you imagine having a kind of sex that’s so full-hearted, so absorbing, that it blows both your and your lover’s minds into ecstasy?

To worship our woman, then, is fundamental. To allow ourselves to feel ‘worship’ for woman in general, is of the essence. Yet among today’s “empowered” men, it’s a human quality that is absolutely and sorely lacking.

The part of us that knows ‘worship’ is the part of us that sees the Divine in our woman, the potential of our woman, and bows down to her beauty in such a way that we evoke it more and more. Have you ever been in love with a woman to such an extent, that your mere attention has her shine? Have you ever seen a woman look grey and almost despondent in other moments of her life, but as she comes into the room and feels the attention of you, the sun all of a sudden comes out? What creates this? The innocence and magnitude of love in our heart is what creates this phenomenon: the texture that I’m calling the holy texture of “worship”.

Unfortunately, too many of today’s men are afraid of humiliation and rejection to ever allow this part of their heart to open. They haven’t reconciled the worship of a woman with being able to stand in their own power at the same time. And so, they’re caught up in today’s nasty power-game between the sexes, missing every possibility of experiencing true beauty as they remain so. And the more ‘dating advice’ they receive from others who are also entrenched in this power-game paradigm, the deeper in lovelessness they remain. The true lover, of course, knows different.

To fall at the knees of a beauty in heart-opened worship, I believe, is far more empowered and powerful than what any man can accomplish who’s “removed women from their pedestals and can see love for what it is.” The one who can own the infinite power of his innocent worship has freed himself of the glass ceiling. He is mystic, man, and mischievous boy combined.

But for many of us, “girl worship” is far from being empowering. We know the scenario. There is something about Her. She sends a flutter into our heart, freezes our system, and reduces our speaking skills to those of a five year-old. We enter a kind of arrest in her presence. We can’t seem to “show up”… at least not in the easy and carefree ways we show up with “the ones we’re not really into”. So yes, our “worship” for those particular women who touch our souls seems like our biggest hindrance: an emotional-energetic reaction that needs to be dissolved, overcome.

But the path forward is not to eradicate “woman worship”, as the conventional advice states, brother.

The path forward is to learn to transmute your arrested energies into slightly more flowing ones. The path is to keep that innocent and natural ‘woman worship’ of yours, and learn how to express it more artfully, while keeping just a little bit more of your breath and your centre as you do so. The path is to convert your naturally-occurring feelings of ‘girl worship’ from being your greatest limitation into your greatest romantic asset.

Here’s the thought experiment: how can you fully express your deepest admiration and worship for a woman you love… while fully maintaining your dignity?

Resolve and embody that, and you might just have found the keys to the Universe.

To show worship for a woman, which is a consequence of first feeling the quality of that worship in your heart, is the cornerstone of rakishness. It’s the most devastatingly seductive trait many women will ever know, for your worship is the thing that evokes something Divine from inside of her. Its power cannot be understated. To fully own the part of you that knows ‘worship’ is the secret that only a handful of the greatest lovers of history have ever discovered. And in a way, yes, it’s a peculiar kind of suffering. Get ready for it! But your love-life will remain anaemic without it.

If I want to improve the vibrancy and the sheer wonder of my relationship today, I will find ever-greater ways to worship my woman. And if I were single, I would move through the world no different.

* * *

Many men I meet on this path are divided and confused as to how to step forward in the land of women, particularly with the ones they truly desire. Most of us have been, or are, caught up “in this one girl…!”

Yet spend any length of time looking at today’s dating advice, and the mind quickly gets filled with dogma that creates indecision, stamps down on our authentic expression, and has our dating lives become full of strategy, calculation, and the fear of revealing honest-to-God parts of ourselves. If only I knew the power of admitting the glory of my ‘worship’ for a woman I was seeing, I would have saved decades of underwhelming, lukewarm affairs, and watching the best ones drift away.

You want an exhilarating and magnetic masculine energy to permeate from your being? Then the best thing you can do is unbind yourself from the rules you’ve taken on, find who you truly are as a man, and own the parts of you that you consider ‘wrong’ or ‘taboo’… while building your sense of dignity in the process.

Every programme we offer inside the Ars Amorata is designed so that, in safe company, you will explore your dark side, start to feel comfortable with your vulnerability, and realise how to turn your biggest limitations with women into your most attractive assets. I hope to see you, one day, inside.

* * *


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