I wrote a post some weeks back about ignoring a girl and how I got her because of it. The post received a lot of comments. Some were very interesting. Some claimed that ignoring a girl you like seemed manipulative.
In our age it should be more obvious than ever, that attention is a commodity. A very valuable one. Why wouldn’t this also apply to seduction? It responds to offer and demand.
My impression is that most men stare at women they like. They take them in, they drink them up visually. Which is fine if you are talking to her, but from afar, outside of an interaction, it’s creepy. It is anonymous and still intimate in a weird way.
When a man to looks at a woman he is attracted to, it gives him chemical pleasure straight to his brain. No wonder most men do it all the time. If you walk up to a woman after staring at her for a longer period of time, you are far worse off than if you looked once and made your move instantly. She knows.
Many times I caught myself staring at a woman too long. I would walk up and apologise for staring, explaining that she just looked too cute, and that way strike up a conversation. Still, this never really amended the staring. Women get why we hesitate and they hold it against us.
So attractive women walk around in a landscape of staring male eyes. These men are scared to talk to her and she knows it. A lot of these men have despair in them, and a lot of them are needy and creepy to her, without uttering a word. Women typically find this repulsive. They have very little empathy with male longing combined with cowardly procrastination. Also it seems an endemic phenomenon at this point. To not have your impulses under control is very unattractive to women.
The bombardment of cheap attention on offer for a hot woman is overwhelming. It is not scarce so it has no value. Any man who has traveled to countries where western men are treated like prey knows how it feels. In Thailand you soon start acting like the hot girl, trying to avoid eye contact with the Thai women, because you are tired of being called sexy man.
The man who doesn’t stare, but instead walks up to her and speaks his mind, stands out. However shamelessly he expressed his desire, as long as it is without the pressure and the despair that so many men telegraph, is like a breath of fresh air. It can be an unforgettable gift to her. There is no emotional reaction or judgement around her response. Also, he does enjoy looking at her, but within the conversation, in range of her. She can confront him with it anytime. Big difference.
They are both free because he grants himself the freedom to express himself, and grants her the freedom to react anyway she wants. He is at peace with her decision no matter what. Now the door opens to possibilities. A man who doesn’t need her, but wants her, is like a breath of fresh air to her. He is full of desire, without being a slave to his desire.
If ignoring someone makes them feel attracted to you, maybe that is a symptom of how the social media attention circus has crippled us. But seduction is beyond good and evil, it is aliveness and a dance.
To be moralistically caught up in and focused on spotting anything remotely cynical, analytical or calculated, will be to your detriment in this play. Following that reasoning, isn’t her make up and her cleavage also manipulation?
In that case I like being manipulated, and so should you if you want to join this dance.
Maybe this moral oversensitivity is another sign of how we have been crippled by the attention circus. Romance suffers from it, for sure. Still, this is what we have to work with. So put the right music to it.
Maybe you don’t understand how hard it can be to ignore a hot woman you really like. It is a level of discipline most men don’t have. The story I posted was about how life helped me act in the way of a totally abundant man, and get the girl. It wasn’t really even my doing. I got distracted.
We can draw so many conclusions. I prefer one that doesn’t morally cripple the dance of life.
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