If you’ve been reading me for a while, you’ll know I prefer an embodied approach to mastering our connection to women.
Sex happens through the body. Seduction happens through the body. If you’re not connected to your body as you ‘dance’ with her, your dating will be no more than head-talk and insinuation.
This is why men fail to ‘escalate’: they can’t get out of their own heads. Let alone lead her out of hers.
There has long been talk about ‘naturals’ with women, versus those who had to learn about attraction. But if I don’t feel natural with women, and I don’t want to install someone else’s instructions as my way of doing things (because, as you know, technique-learning mostly distances yourself even further from the real, animal you), will I ever find my nature with women?
Most attraction and dating advice comes down to this:
They ignore the complex and difficult nature of your embodied, authentic self… and have you plaster an upgraded set of masks all over it.
In fact, halfway through my first Essentials class, I realised I had constructed a new, improved, ‘Amorati mask’.
It was a decent crux (and got me laid). But the depth of my encounters with women wasn’t much. I couldn’t sustain her interest for long.
Good job I learned how to feel. And to use feeling to guide my actions instead.
For real authenticity—the real, felt-in-the-body, bring-my-heart-and-guts-to-the-table stuff—is the greatest aphrodisiac. To that I can attest.
Well, if you want your love-life to be cinematic, rather than a pantomime, that is.
I guess pantomime’s ok, too, you know? ‘Opening’ people all day long in the street, with your big red nose.
So, is there a refreshed view of what it means to be ‘natural’ with women? And moreover, can we reclaim the nature inside us?
For sure. That’s what I’m about.
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To Help You Reclaim Your Seductive Nature, Any Serious Training Must:
1. Help you consider, and work with, biological factors, such as beauty, hormones, and the ‘orgasm-conductivity’ of your body.
2. Bring light to your unconscious ‘Seduction Styles’, which are childhood-learned skills that had you get what you want from parents and others (constructively or destructively); or, work through the reasons you didn’t develop these childhood-learned skills.
3. Get right to your underlying motivation for seduction. Do you approach women from a basis of unprocessed emotions, or a fear of abandonment or solitude? Do you ‘seduce’ from a place of addiction, to prove something to yourself (or society), or from non-attachment and abundance?
4. Unpack the dating and attraction skills you’ve learned already, to see which are constructive, and which are masks or methods. Personally, I would train you in the nature of fundamental human connection long before I bolt on aspects of seduction. (Most trainings do the exact reverse.)
5. Inquire together with you: what is ‘true nature’? For how can one be ‘natural’ without an exploration of your spiritual essence (emptiness); as well as your embodied, primal, animal truths?
We have long said that the real thing with women is about ‘stripping away’.
My approach to coaching and teaching bears all of these in mind.
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