Male Sexuality is True, Good and Beautiful

‘I came out of the closet, as a lover of women…’


These were words I wrote back in 2012 as I wrapped up the 90-day Ars Amorata challenge, today known as Essentials.

That course was exhilarating, and changed my life in every way.

Until the age of 29, my whole life experience centered around hiding what I was most energised and passionate about in life…

And what I was most energised and passionate about were beautiful, pretty, sumptuous, teasing, flirtatious, mysterious girls.

I loved women. But kept this aspect of myself an air-tight secret, for fear of failure and public ridicule. I was invested in maintaining some Bond-like image of a man that never failed.

Today, I’d like to give you a real good preview, and share 3 aspects of the Ars Amorata that made this philosophy change everything for me.

* * *

1. Showing Up


There is no getting around it, at some point or another, every man has to do the thing.

He has to actually break the film, the societal expectations, and express what he’s truly thinking, feeling, and what he wants.

In person, face-to-face. Not behind the safety of an app.

There is no getting around showing up. Otherwise you become an old man, filled with regret, every time you see a beautiful woman that you’re too afraid to make contact with.

Now I don’t know about you…

But every time I go out and see a beautiful woman, my whole spirit fills up with an energy. Excitement, arousal, inspiration, whatever. If I don’t find a way to complete that energy—i.e., express myself in an honest and true way that I enjoy—I have to go home with that suppressed energy still rattling around inside me.

This is what your ‘block’ is made out of: an undischarged sense of erotic delight. Some men lose a decade (or more) of their lives because they fail to find the courage (and inner freedom) needed to let their enjoyment out. Some men suffer immeasurably because, over the top of their suppressed erotic energy, they’ve amassed layers upon layers of guilt, frustration, and shame.

At 29 years of age, you can imagine it was a revelation when I started showing up. And it simply started with saying ‘hi’.

The Ars Amorata helped me start speaking to the kind of women I was interested in. A band of brothers and mentors had my back, and picked me up if I got hurt along the way. It got me into the arena of love, and saved me from years of pent-up angst.

It’s part of why I’m still here today.

* * *

2. Celebrating Her


To celebrate a woman is more than to complement her. Rather than spilling out some brainy words of positive judgment, to celebrate her is to turn to her energy—her essence—and exclaim ‘Hallelujah! Thank Goodness! Beauty occurred, and without you, my day would have been worse!’

You turn your whole body and spirit to praise this beauty. Because your life, comparatively speaking, was a desert before she smiled at you. And even if you love your life and yourself entirely, there’s no situation so good that a pretty girl’s smile can’t improve.

I found it extremely difficult to celebrate women, though.

When I was young, I remember complimenting my mother on her make-up. Her face went stone-cold, and scolded. ‘What do you want?’

It was an age of emerging feminism, and the message I received, time and again over the dinner table, was women are more than just pretty faces. And that men, basically, get everything wrong.

Psychologically, I had linked giving a simple, genuine compliment with an egoistic, chauvinist act. Brushing off the cobwebs of this conditioning took a number of weeks. That’s not long to reverse a life-long pattern, when you come to think about it.

Everything changed when I gained reference experiences of women not only being grateful for my complimentary words, but by seeing the way they radiated as I looked upon them in celebration.

When I gained the power to see that, in a matter of five or ten seconds, I could change the course of a woman’s day… I was never the same person again.

* * *

3. Masculine Edge


Every man needs to know, deep in his heart, that he has what it takes to meet life’s challenges. Every man needs to know, also in his heart, that his masculinity is enough.

If you want to hurt a man, challenge his masculinity. Simple as.

So if we are to be much, much more relaxed in our lives, we need to know we have that edge. At least when it counts.

When it comes to meeting women, the Javier Bardem clip from ‘Vicky Christina Barcelona’ shows us consummate male confidence. He approaches two beautiful young women at a restaurant, and invites them, almost immediately, in a private flight to Oviedo, where they might enjoy the finer things in life. Plus a threesome.

By the end of my 90-day Essentials, I had pulled off the same approach. We were four guys, about to leave a restaurant for a club, and on table behind us were two stunning Brazilian women, who were surrounded all night by a couple of men. As the taxi was pulling up, all of a sudden the two men had disappeared, and I had a twenty-second window in which I could meet these beautiful women.

‘Come with us,’ I motioned. Winking, smiling, checking them out.

They couldn’t, they said. Had other plans. But there was delight in the air, it was unmistakable.

I bundled into the taxi with the guys. And thought nothing else of it.





About a week or so later, I got a text message from the Irish guy who was with us.


‘You ****** ******. I don’t know how the hell you did this…

But I went back to that restaurant we were all in that Friday night, and a waitress I know came over to me. She said her friend—you know, that stunning girl from the table behind us—had been in asking about you, and wanted to leave her number in case ‘that red-haired guy’ came back.

Anyway, I kinda wanna tear this up. But my word’s my word.

Her name’s _____. Here’s her number…’



It’s moments like these that let me know I did it.

That whatever insecurity I once had with women had been overcome. And, no matter what happens for the rest of my life, I’ll always know there was a season in which I’d truly lived.

* * *

This, my friend, starts the Ars Amorata journey…


… Setting you free around your love for women

… Finding goodness in your attraction and desire once more

… So you can finally, truly, feel alive.

These days, mainstream culture demonises men’s sexuality. If those in my generation received some painful conditioning, it is only getting worse and worse. There are very few voices helping us find the essential life-giving goodness of our male sexuality. So we cover it up… with pleasantries and niceness.

Ars Amorata is here to get it across to the deepest parts of you…

… that your love for women, your erotic desire, your mischief, your pleasure


… that will not only set you free

… but will build a self-confidence that will pour into every other part of your life.


I mean, how else is a man going to restore beauty to the world, if he keeps his erotic expression—the source of his very genius—locked in a box?


It is time to embrace your love for beauty, women, and the good life.

Come and practice the principles of the Amorati with a dedicated band of men.

And put a spring back into your step, wherever you are in the relationship cycle.

Do you join us for the ride?

Click the image below, join the waitlist, and be one of the first notified when we open.

~ Jordan

* * *

Jordan Luke Collier

Jordan Luke Collier has dedicated his life to helping create a solid learning community of men on a path to excellence with women...

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