What follows is something from the edge of my philosophical wanderings… and also personal reflections on how my body, my personal energy, has changed over recent years.
I’ve been pondering the notion of how our sexual force is a sublime force—something holy—and what it might mean to enlighten our lower bodies: our guts, our hips, our balls, our ‘seat’.
Liberate this area of the lower body, I’ve come to find, and a virile force of masculine passion is let loose. It’s not the same as lurid, creepy sexual energy. And it doesn’t turn you into a wild sex addict (although you might pass through an animalistic phase). Instead, a man’s passion is a form of presence itself. It has no intention, nor need to consummate itself. Yet it feels like sitting atop a 1000cc motorbike. Vibration and conviction fuel everything that you do.
We all live with an intuition that this is the case. Every time another man takes your girl, you feel—all too painfully—the lack of this passion and the numbness of your root.
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Many spiritual traditions have blessed us with incredible teachings on the nature of the mind and the heart. Many of you are practicing such techniques from Buddhism or Tantric Hinduism… or are doused with the beauty of mystic Christianity, or Islam. Others take a more secular approach: but mindfulness, and heart-centeredness — awareness and awakening of the ‘upper realms’ — is the dharma fill our ears.
Let’s map this out a little bit, so you can follow a little my logic. At the most superficial level of awareness, you have the monkey-mind. Saboteur this, inner critic that, perpetually stuck between two different decisions, strategising your way into becoming some ideal image of yourself. If monkey-mind wasn’t enough, we end the day so sick of it that we seek respite online, and fill up on the monkey-mind of everyone else! Often, it seems there’s no escape.
But do a little practice and you slow the mind down. Breathwork, yoga, trips to the hallucinogenic jungle. Freudian and Jungian psychoanalysis have the same aim: to slow down the mind so that you perceive visions and symbols. Dreams, intuitions. We sense there’s a truer revelation of our path and our nature when we can see into the subconscious.
Practice a little further, though, and the mind empties out, beyond even visions and symbols, and opens into this radiant ease. Clarity. Illumination. Nirvana. The end of suffering. Presence. It’s enlightenment of the mind.
The heart has a different path, and you might notice in the history of holymen (or on the internet of gurus today), that some teachers are strong in awareness (mind), while others are strong in compassion (heart). Although linked, one follows a different path into the heart. Not all enlightenment, in my view, is the same.
So how does the heart actually work? At the superficial level, we close our hearts out of fear. You might have muscular contractions in your chest, ribs, shoulders, back, neck—all designed surreptitiously to keep your emotional energy within. Women might call this out as a block, a façade, defensiveness, walls. When an interaction gets too intense—uncomfortable because there’s emotional charge, or uncomfortable because there’s too much love—you might simply eject, running for the hills from such intimate moments. Phone rings. Toilet calls. Or, you don’t know why, but you just never text her back.
Do a little work, though, and you can enter the unconscious realms of the heart. In short: this means all the emotions your defences are keeping at bay. The big one, for nearly every man on the planet, is grief. ‘I haven’t cried for ten years,’ I will often hear a client say. And so it’s a revelation when you allow yourself to start crying your pent-up tears. When the defences of the heart dissolve, all your unresolved emotions come up. Regret. Sadness. Loss. Joy. Fear. Anxiety. Spontaneous laughter. Real ease. Sometimes one might feel ten different emotions in under an hour. As months go by, the whole spectrum of human feeling opens up.
Emotional processing doesn’t last forever, though. And you can learn to open through emotion and into presence. Learn how to do this in just the right way, and you can fill your entire body and awareness with emotion, become emotion, and transmute the emotion into Grace. Self-healing. Alchemy, in a way. But, as they say, every drop of water reaches the ocean, and so every emotion processed opens, and enlightens, the virtues of your heart. There’s more distance to travel than just this: the magic happens when you plunge deep into the centre of an already-open heart. On the meditation cushion. Looking into her eyes. During sex.
But what if there was a spiritual centre in the pelvis? That’s what I began stroking my chin over. Can we enlighten that mysterious intelligence responsible for man’s animal dynamism, his biological creativity, his thrust to reproduce?
I mean, we’ve all known men we’ve said to have guts. Balls of steel. He’s cocky. An asshole. The painting of this artist is so visceral, it’s almost overwhelming how much it makes me feel! Language is littered with clues that some people are awake—or at least, activated—down there.
Most spiritual (and every religious) paths repress and neglect the lower impulses. Others awaken and include them, but only to serve the awakening of the mind and of the heart. Sublimate those animal energies into something more light and pure. But can we enlighten the power of our lower bodies, just for the sake of exploration and wholeness, and simply allow them to be? What if we ditch the judgment call that higher is purer, and lower means further from spirit? I am not talking about awakening your sexual power in order to get girls… I am talk about awakening your virility wholly for you.
Here goes: at the most superficial level, the area of our hips and pelvis is restrained. Want an example? Ask an Englishman to dance salsa. Our lower bodies, through lack of use, glide through the world like rusty cages. Get close to someone over fifty: you can even hear them creek! But our conditioning also keeps us stuck: our musculature long ago learned patterns to hide our arousal from the world, so we keep the small, dense ball of our arousal condensed in one little area inside our seat. We seldom let it pour into the rest of ourselves, and less so into world…
Except when we get drunk. Or turn to porn. Or compulsively discharge our fluid into kleenex. Or fuel a form of sex-addition, hunting easy women we’re not really nourished by, just to discharge the pain. A whole lotta sideways action is caused because we’re seriously unenlightened about our sexual energy.
There are not many places in this world where you can start to heal the repressed patterns of your sexual energy. Some niche body therapy, sure. And a few tantric moshpits in our global Shangri-Las. When a man—or a woman—unleashes the wild horses of his or her sexual energy, all madness can break loose. Every stored-up fantasy a new adventure to indulge. Your life might be able to sustain this for a while. For others, perhaps not.
When it becomes unrestrained for the first time, our sexual energy tends to need an object, a form of consummation. It takes more presence and nuance to awaken this energy further. It is my observation, though, that when you learn how to ride your wild force, that as maturation takes place, you fill your whole being up, and merge with your sexual energy. This means that you’re no longer a guy who’s ridiculously horny. You become sexual energy incarnate. Rather than hold a part of you that’s throbbing, your whole presence and spirit itself throbs. It’s your spine that becomes erect, and your deepest masculine gifts—excuse me—that spill forth. You’re sat on the potential of enormous horse-power, yet you’re happy to simply feel the vibrations purr. Rather than a compulsion to hump every supple body you see around you, your power—your creative, virile, (re)productive engine—infuses itself in everything you do. Relationship. Career. Leadership. Money. Boundaries. Consistency. Conviction. Yet none of these external things are as good as the feeling of wholeness, the spirit of coarsing passion, filling your body, eradicating any saboteur-thought that you might not be enough, blazing its own trail, setting you free.
This is what happens when your sex-power gets turned on. Enlightenment, I call it, of the deep lower body.
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P.S. Want to begin this journey now, and ‘de-clutter’ the blockages from your natural born sexual power? Then practice this LOTM meditation, and start to awaken more of your virility today.
My recommendation: try this each day for 21 days. Take a few minutes to meditate straight afterwards, and observe the effects of the practice on your whole body.
PLUS, if you’re ready – come work with us live for a deep-dive: