Liberating Sexual Presence

As long as you are available for the first and last days, it is ok to miss one or two of the sessions during the week. Not every participant will be called to work each day, so if you tell me which days you might miss, I can organise the sessions so you don’t lose one of your personal slots.

The design of this retreat is that each participant will have two deep-dive coaching sessions, in front of the rest of the group. That means for two of the eight retreat days, you’re ‘on’. However, the understanding, commentary, and camaradie participants get by being with each other in their work is crucial. Please be with your coursemates during the process, and the value you get from the retreat will be enhanced.

Note that none of the daily sessions will be recorded, to preserve your utmost privacy during this work.

Yes of course. I will open a what’s app group for the 8 days, and leave it open beyond the end of the retreat.

I will be on-hand to help with any questions you have during and after the work.

Relaxed clothing and a good internet connection. A notepad you can use for journalling during the week. Make sure you have enough refreshments to stay focused.

There is no homework you need to do before the retreat: the entire preparation will be given on a special preparation call (and video) a week before retreat day #1.

Yes. I would hate for you to feel restricted in your speech because you have a partner coming into your room, or someone who might overhear your work next door. Please arrange for total comfort and confidence, particularly on the days you will be working.

Note that, for privacy, many coaching clients often sit in their cars. I advise against doing your fantasy sessions in a car—car seats restrict your physical posture, which can effect how deeply you engage your body (for awareness and release) during our practice.

The main part of our work together consists of 2x full 60-75min guided processes per participant. Imagine one-part guided meditation, one-part deep coaching, that I will lead in front of the group. Given that this work is based around your core erotic fantasies, the emotion and vulnerability involved can be intense. Between sessions, I will give journalling prompts, reflection questions, and a few daily embodiment practices, including a somatic meditation.

The embodiment practices will be the same as those taught in Awaken the Virtue of Passion. The fantasywork we’ll do in the retreat will feed new energy into these ongoing embodiment practices, allowing the practices to take you even deeper. In this way, Liberating Sexual Presence is part #2 of the AVP curriculum.

If there is a practice you don’t connect with for any particular reason, I have 3-4 alternatives I can recommend you, based on your current level/appetite for practice.

Yes. Text me after you sign up, and I can send you some light advanced homework, a couple of movies, and some background reading.

This is not essential in order for a powerful retreat experience. But many people like their minds to be primed going in.

Remember that most of participants will already be aware of the ‘outer edges’ of today’s pornographic world, and might be well-prepared to hear your version of hardcore. Often, fear that we will be too much, is simply our shame speaking. However, these concerns are all part of the process, and we will tread here with delicacy.

Most participant’s fantasies do have a sense of taboo or edginess to them. This is what makes the sharing such a powerful process. Usually, our deepest taboos present us with the deepest locked-away reservoirs of energy within us.

By stepping into this workshop, you acknowledge that themes related to violence, domination, race, incest, and various fetishes may be brought by one or more of the participants.

By stepping into this workshop, you also acknowledge that at the core of any fantasy, no matter how edgy or dark, there is a fundamental kernal of beauty, truth and goodness, which aches to be freed of any distortions, and seen.

I recommend, if you choose to join us for Liberating Sexual Presence, that you take the chance to go all the way in describing your fantasy.

The more you share, the more freedom you stand to gain around your fantasy. Typically, I urge you to share what you can, and go a couple of steps further besides.

However, if you choose to hide a couple of small details, you will not derail the process. I do not need to know every single fact, or everyone’s identity, for the work to be powerful.

But you might feel, as the week progresses and you feel the depth of your colleagues, that you want to go another level. This is part of the gift that doing this work in community gives.

I’m sure I could think of 20-30 fantasies that would be fun to work with! However, most people’s fantasy lives revolve around 1-2 core scenarios, acts, types of partner, and themes.

I suggest choosing a main, most cherished fantasy to start with. The fantasy that has occupied most of your attention in your life, or at least over the last year. After this initial fantasy has been worked, you might notice new images, thoughts and sensations rush in to take its place, like you’ve deepened to another cave within the labyrinth. New, more primal feelings and fantasies often become available.

One of the best facets of this work is finding out how deep the psyche goes.

Yes. More specifically, I framed this retreat as an ‘ordeal’. An ordeal is a notoriously challenging experience that can allure and motivate us… but will also scare many parts of our psyches. In the midst of an ordeal, we might wonder if we have the courage and the resources to make it all the way through. Our saboteurs and defences kick in. And yet, to succeed in an ordeal, something in us steps up to the challenge—and we prove to our nerves and our shyness and our fear that we’ve got this.

When you discover you have the courage to meet the challenge posed by an ordeal, you can initiate yourself. Meaning, you show the deep, fearful parts of your psyche what your higher potential can do. Climbing mountains, vision questions, black belt exams—even school and college tests—are initiations and ordeals for people. Sex ought to be an initiation, but often we are not present enough with ourselves, or each other, to really confront our fears and desires with each other. Two people sleep together, but manage to keep their true selves hidden all the while. We must be conscious throughout an ordeal in order to receive its initiation.

This erotic fantasy workshop, for many people in this world, will be an ordeal. It means breathing clear air into some of the most shameful closets within ourselves. It’s like a vision quest not of the hardest inner places, but the most vulnerable and tender. You may worry if you will remain in-tact after being seen. And yet, by coming through it you will gain the freedom of initiation: you will discover the sheer life-giving joy at the depth of your erotic inner world. And this can forever change the course of your intimate life.

Honestly, if someone offered this workshop during my formative years, I would have been entirely scared. And yet, I might have traveled to the other side of the world to finally understand my erotic life, and receive this kind of education for myself.

To feel hesitant or resistant before or during this workshop is the most normal thing in the world. And resistance can show up in a number of different sabotaging or distracting ways.

I will bring ample space, time, and consideration to the different ‘barriers’ that people experience in relation to this process. Tending well to the barriers that protect our erotic worlds is some of the most important work we can do.

This retreat is likely to activate erotic thoughts and feelings, and make semi-conscious things more conscious. It is likely you will feel erotic energy before, during, and after the retreat.

And yet, combined with the embodiment work… combined with the presence we’ll bring to you and your fantasies… you might notice yourself able to ‘contain’ your sexual feelings with more detachment and curiosity. This is one of the greatest aspects of this work: the more comfortable and open you become about your erotic nature, the less ‘compressed’ a place it will have in your life. Alumni of this process report being able to enjoy their erotic feelings and thoughts more, with more feeling of love for them, with an expanded ability to contain sexual fantasies without the compulsion for release.

This is one definition of what it means to ‘integrate’ one’s sexual energy.

As soon as you decide to take the workshop, and you declare your intention by booking your place, you might notice your psyche start to act up a little. Your thoughts, dreams, and emotional life might feel heightened. This is normal, and good, and helpful for a powerful immersion.

Our sexual fantasies often stem from unfilfilled needs—even feelings of abandonment, humiliation, or distress as children. Not always. But trauma from the very core of our psyches often finds itself wound up in our erotic storylines and the characters we choose. Given this, fantasywork is a wonderful place to explore your life story, and attend to patterns that have been in you for a long time.

You might go to bed a few times during this process feeling down or heavy. And, those feelings will pass. In fact, in every person’s fantasy I have ever worked, even the darkest threads of shame, cruelty, dominance, or humiliation have transformed into a sense of spiritual wholeness. What starts as tricky content has always ended in states of self-love, pleasure, empowerment, freedom, security, agency, bliss, and relaxation. I am committed to staying in difficult emotions until they ‘melt’ or ‘drop’ into states of expanded presence.

Typically, the men that join me for this kind of inner work are grateful to brothers who ‘drop deep’, into their true inner layers.

I also worried about this in the past. The amount of heartache or arousal I felt for certain women or situations was so great, that it felt part of my identity. But the emotional rollercoasters, and the rejections, were so painful, that I knew I needed to heal whatever pattern was driving it. My relationship life was stuck. But I worried that, if I healed, I would never feel that similar excitement—the rush—again. I worried I’d never get that particular peak experience that I craved.

Turns out those fears were unfounded. Though I no longer crave those same high-charge experiences, my adult erotic live is not flat. I actually feel more depth and nuance and meaning in a wide variety of intimate experiences. This is truly life-giving. I am no longer so narrowly fixated on one kind of experience, or one kind of woman. I do not miss the days when I was so-in-love but oh-so-tortured by a particular kind of attraction dynamic, and I never had a client who later regretted healing some not-entirely-functional dynamic inside of himself.

In fact, healing the root causes of my roller-coaster dynamics was what enabled me to build a stable, long-term relationship. And with that, build a life.

We think our fantasy-worlds are private enclaves that no-one will ever know about. It is true that you can hide the contents of your fantasies well. But the amount of distraction that happens when thinking of sex or romance each day can add up to many, many hours. And those close to you will subtly feel how you’re not present.

How much of your life-force has already been wasted in dissociated visions of romance or sexual intrigue? It is one thing to have a few thoughts that are guilty pleasures. Yet we know when our habits and get-offs cross a line, draining us of vital concentration, rather than filling us up.

Every hour of concentration you can claw back and bring into real relationships and material life, gives you the opportunity to grow. From my perspective, this results in real-world charisma and conviction. Undistracted sexual energy can be used as creative energy. And passion—when freed of our need to discharge this passion with a woman—typically becomes a sense of engagement with all of life.

When a man’s sexual impulse no longer leads him to lust or daydream after women, it is typically transformed into a sense of engagement with all life. This is both a leadership and a spiritual trait. This is the result of good ‘psycho-sexual work’.

I can give you some extended journalling and self-awareness practices, as well as the embodiment tools we will use together. But there is not much more. Liberating Sexual Presence is an experiential retreat. Come for the intro, and wrap up on the final day. Everything you will need is contained within this course.

Saying that, I will supply a reading list, and any other recommendations, to the group.

I will also be on hand during the weeks following the retreat. If you have any question, or any need or worry about integration the materials, I will be keen to assist you, and to know how your process is impacting your post-retreat life.

It’s highly recommended. AVP is an embodiment challenge, aimed to wake up the feeling of erotic aliveness in your body, and to enable you to ‘drop out of your head’ and get more into your body. It’s the perfect preparation for Liberating Sexual Presence. In fact, you might have the experience during AVP of more sexual fantasy content surfacing in your day-to-day life. The psyche simply wakes up. And you might want to ‘integrate’ this new erotic content more deeply.

This retreat is therefore a logical part #2 of this journey. However, if you haven’t had time for Awaken the Virtue of Passion, I will give you a ‘fast-start’ in the introduction materials, so you can arrive at Day #1 of this retreat ready to go.

You can take Liberating Sexual Presence effectively, as a stand-alone.

Please contact me at jordan@arsamorata.com. I will he happy to assist you.